Country Kick

Okay, it is nearly July and my 46th birthday.

It's been a long stretch between blogs, and we've had many changes this year. Son returned from Germany mission, daughter marries, mono y mono, and I worked out here and there, but I still want to do better. It's time to crank up the effort on fitness focus.

I...hung up my Bally's membership. We moved to the country, and we now have a home gym. Cool.

So here we go for round two.

Inspiration does not come without invitation.

Let's go, body. Got grit?

The Only Way to Fail is to Quit

Lousy. That's how I'd describe my first attempts toward excellence in my first chosen "physical quadrant." I just failed.

Failure in life is a necessary gain. I say gain because if we desire it, failure teaches us how to succeed. We literally learn how to fail, then fail better, as failed stepping stones lead us to success. As I reflect upon the evidence of failure, I can plainly see that the reason comes down to two main things.

#1 The desire to do the thing because I know it's the right thing to do just isn't enough. I have to truly want it, and that want has to not be topical, but come from the inside, from the heart of me.
#2. I am not in the habit, as my husband constantly reminds me, of putting myself first. So how does one truly make needed change, when change is hard?

In a time of immense personal trial, a good friend who once was my bishop placed in my hand, a thick round heavy brass coin. On it in large lettering read the words, "Attitude is Everything." Attitude is everything. It isn't enough to do. To want it, and want it with fervor is the key. We have to set out with a desirous heart to accomplish the thing well, and we have to have a good attitude about it. Something so large as to take physical work when it does not come naturally is quite a change. To change is to desire to change working from the "inside out." Not as in my first attempt working from the outside in.

So, I'm ready to try again. I just had a physical, My dental exam, and have been claimed fit, and the green light with a clean slate says go, go go!

Every Day Counts

Have you ever thought of each day as a part of history? We don't really think of today as anything historic, because we are living in it. Our days are often busy ones, driving children here and there, running about doing errands. These days might seem small and mundane to us, but it's still history in the making.

Excellence isn't always about the bigger accomplishments in life. Not all of us are going to have pages of our name associated with publicity lists noted on Google, but each of us contributes to this world in amazing ways everyday of our lives. We just don't stop to think about that, but something as simple as waving hello to a neighbor can make a person's whole day.

Tonight I went to neighborhood Christmas Party. Neighbors have been gathering to socialize and share each December in my neighborhood for 11 years, and it' s been an amazing and wonderful gathering year after year.

In the home of our host, just as we were leaving, my husband pointed to a framed envelope and letter on the wall. "To the Green Thumbs" it was addressed. As I read the letter, I was moved to ponder the thoughtful gesture of a stranger. This woman writer was a member of the church across the street from this particular home, and the letter was simply to tell the owner of this home, how much she enjoyed seeing her beautifully manicured yard each Sunday. I was even more amazed to read the signature at the letter's close. It had been signed years ago by a sweet lady who had moved away, "Brenda Young." I knew Brenda. She had been my Stake Relief Society President. Even far away, her thoughtfulness still lingered. Brenda's letter complimenting a stranger made my neighbor's next several years. The letter still hangs framed and it still makes this neighbor smile.

How often do we step out of our busy life to touch another either through service, or a simple compliment, smile, recognition? It is really true that a little bit of kindness goes along way.

We can't always wait for others to make that first move. If you want a friend be a friend. Stepping outside oneself to lift another is an excellent way of life. Sometimes, it's about the small stuff.

Nixing The Blame Game

Ridiculous. That's how I would describe my stall attempts on gym attendance. I had an excuse to wait until 10 am. My visiting teachers were coming and early morning was taken up by writing.

But then it was 11:00, and I let picking up about the house take over. Then it was 11:30 and I decided to start a slow cook ham and cheesy potatoes dinner. And then at 11:30 I said, "after lunch."

I'd been wearing my work out clothes all morning. I thought about how easy it would be to just blow it off until tomorrow, thinking about the Almond Roca I wanted to make, but thought about excellence.

With grit I put on my running shoes, grabbed some clothing to drop off at the dry cleaners along the way, and headed out the door. The garage door broke! With the push of the button it gave a short lurch, and became stuck. Obstacles continued to build. The street out of the neighborhood was a little busier than average, but getting onto the main road was a challenge. I missed two full light cycles and sighed. Again I held my place. An accident at the ramp onto the freeway stopped movement. What would normally take a 5 min drive, instead took an hour. Crazy.

As I waited for things to clear, having to be still, I thought about my morning and human nature.

Excellence is about doing things that don't come naturally for us. Facing what we don't want to do because it's hard, not fun, inconvenient, or hard work. How often do we see an expectation, feel guilty, and then play the blame game to make us feel better? It would have been so easy to turn around and go home, and blame not getting to the gym on the traffic jam, or even the garage door--and stall again saying I need to call around to get it fixed.

How often do we blame our shortcomings, actions, situation, or way of thinking on our upbringing, circumstance, life's unkind dealt hand, or on another being?

As I thought about it, when we set aside all those outside influences, all the "baggage," we're left with only us. Destiny, individual progression is up to no one but us. We choose how we wish to act. When life deals us difficulty. We choose how we will respond. We choose what we will seek be it employment, education, or opportunities to serve. We choose how hard we will work and what sacrifices we will make for our good. In a sense, based on our preparation, we choose what opportunities can open to us.

If we simply look at life as cows do, and maintain grazing along the pasture we are already in, the view isn't going to change much. We choose to be or not to be seekers in our lives. We choose to control or not to control out true potential. The blame game provides a way for insecure people to justify their insecurity. And for insecurity to remain. That was an interesting realization. As I got to the gym, my own insecurities kicked in. I thought about that part of being human. The part that makes us turn away from the uncomfortable. I bought a locker lock. I'm in it for the long haul, and as I stretched, I felt good about being at the gym.

Today's physical focused task? Keep moving forward. On days off from the gym, a brisk walk. Siberian Huskies are good company.

Line Upon Line

Accomplishing the larger goals of life starts with little goals. Excellence cannot come by the wave of a magic wand. There is no such thing. Limping bunnies lost their feet, Fields lose their four leaf clovers, time goes by ignoring starlight wishes all for naught. The idea of Lady Luck or magical influence, in truth, is empty. Lady Luck's true name is chance. But there is magic. It lies inside each of us. Work, determination, and perseverance determine change, just as the work, determination, and perseverance make a magician's handkerchief seemingly disappear into the palm of his hand. You don't see the hollow plastic thumb come off his finger and become replaced with the bright red cloth stuffed inside then set back into place on his own finger. Nor do we see the books studied, mentors worked with, and the trick practiced for a lengthy period of time beforehand to make it believable to an audience eye. A bright red handkerchief mysteriously vanishes in the palm of a hand. That's what we see. We are enchanted. The magician has accomplished excellence.

So where do we begin on this Day One journey to a three year goal for more focused living?

In the form of excellence, we have an example.

"And Jesus grew in wisdom, and in stature, and in favour with God and man."

The greatest example in the way to live is taught in this simple scripture. For the happiest results, we need to live a balanced life. If I held a child's toy ball, and I divided it into four segments, from this scripture I could design a four square life.

And Jesus grew in wisdom mental

and in stature physical

and in favour with God spiritual

and man social

Think about it. We hold a sphere ball perfectly rounded, and balanced with air correctly shared. When we bounce this ball directly before us in a straight directed path, the result will be it will bounce directly back into our hands. But what if the air is a bit deflated in a sphere. When bounced, that ball will become misdirected, and go off in some unforeseen direction.

Life is that way. So here is my goal quadrant, and I'm going to start small.

Being a strong writer isn't just about sitting down and writing. It's a whole lot more than BIC or Butt In Chair. To be a writer is a solitary life. No one sits beside you and shares your head, and many things can come and disrupt that flow; sickness, life challenges, no one is immune.

One thing I know. If we do not take care of ourselves, we will not be able to take care of anyone or anything else, including our characters. My first goal toward excellence will be in the physical quadrant. Did I mention, I'm just plain not an athlete? PE was torture as a kid. I was the last picked for team sports led by peppy captains, never could climb that rope that stretched from the wood floor to the ceiling, and I loathed the ominous locker room. As an adult where gyms are concerned, I'd feel like everyone is watching and could not wait to leave.

In my forties, I know I have to take care of me. I realized this when, just before I started this blog, after a day of writing, I went to stand and it took effort to realign my skeleton. Standing straight was not pain free, and I was surprised how long it took for that pain to go away.

Sinking into a chair for a long period of time, is not healthy. So I traded my chair for the balancing ball I sit on as I write. No more back pain! It truly works as you're body shifts and moves about balancing as you write, and it's fun.

Exercise creates endorphines which makes you feel good. It gives us energy, which has influence on all aspects of our sphere. When we're happy we're social animals. When we think clearly we can expand our learning, when we work out our body automatically tells us what it needs in water, nutrition, etc, and when we are not depressed we are more in tune with the spirit.

So Day One--my focus is on the physical. My goal will be (as much as I really struggle with this.) I will go to the gym twice a week to work out, eventually making it three days a week. In my quest for more Excellence in Life, and I will record my progress here. (Oh my husband will so celebrate this.)

Time to get ready (sigh) to renew a membership and say hello to my old foe, squats.

Something about Nothing

If you ask me what this writing will be about, I have to say honestly, I don't know. Is there a goal, a purpose, at least some kind of meaningful seed here? I don't know that either. I really don't have an idea as to what this might turn into. Some things are about nothing. Okay, some somethings start as nothing and grow into something, but A work in progress is just that, a work in progress. It grows as it is created, but it starts as so tiny a thing that it lies without concrete definition. Ernest Hemingway said, "All first drafts are excrement."

A single life isn't exactly as raw as a newborn manuscript, but as with anything, it can always be reworked, improved, and built upon. I'm ready to grow.

I'm now in my forties. What do you do when you reach the forties? Some people boo-hoo it all the way to 50. Some people might look back and say, "Why didn't I do this or that?" or "Why did I do this or that or How can I regain my youth?"

In my forties, I can honestly say that my only regret is youth's ignorance. My husband, wonder-guy that he is, had a saying that left ignorance in some sort of stupor state. "There is a difference between stupid and ignorant. Ignorance is is temporary. Stupid is forever." So... I learned I had promise. I wasn't stupid.

So what is it I want? I want to accomplish excellence. Is that possible? I figure if I can discover I'm a writer by the time I turn 40, then nearing 50 must hold more hidden secrets. How does one discover one's true potential? I think there are clues along the way. I mean just look at this letter to Santa penned when I was four. The clue that I had would keep a home was there, as was the clue that I had a way with words.

"Dear Santa,

"Please bring me a carriage and a stroller and bring me more presents. Bring my dolly pajamas, a sink, a stove, a refrigerator, a telephone, records, sugar, coffee pot, cups, a wash cloth and a towel, paper, pencil, pocketbook, can of soup, potatoes, a pan, ashtray, a toy snake, clock, ring, cupboard, cereal, Easter Basket, bubble bath, too, a high chair. Goodbye."

I think I thought I was going to go into housekeeping, and I did...eventually. As for the ash tray in the sixties, smoking was everywhere in New York, on the television, billboards, and I was an impressionable sort, even growing up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Coffee and ashtrays were for guests, and I liked to entertain the idea of growing up and having many friends and grown up tea parties.

So excellence, that's what I'd like, simply to become the best me I can be. I don't know what that means yet. but I thought I would write this little book of accountability and see what I glean from it. This is my personal journey to excellence and Day One starts tomorrow.